My Vote This Tuesday

I begin with a shout-out to five of my nieces and nephews - who will participate for the first time in this year's election.

Micaela, Michael, Andrew, Caroline, and Arthur - rock the vote!

And second, a salute to Senator John Edwards. It was a honor to support a man, along with his wife, who was angry, authentic, and focused in his support of Americans who have not had a voice in this election, and more important, in this country for an obscene amount of time.

I hope that our next president finds him a place in their administration. Imagine John Edwards as Attorney General - now that's a way to banish the hideous memory of smug, torture-advocate Alberto Gonzales.

With Edwards' absence, I've had to reassess many of my opinions and judgments. I read what the pundits have predicted about which candidate will pick up his supporters. It is interesting to start with an almost blank slate when trying to decide who to support. So this week, I researched, I asked other people for their thoughts, I listened, and I read.

And this is what I noticed...

I see Hillary being crucified for running a campaign - a campaign just like men have run for years.

I notice that Barack and his campaign's personal attacks on her (from Michelle Obama insisting one had to get their own house in order before putting the White House in order to David Axelrod, Barack's chief strategist/political mercenary, associating Benizar Bhutto's assassination with Hillary's vote for the war) are downplayed by the media.

I see Hillary being criticized - once again -for her husband. What American isn't aware of the flaws of Bill Clinton? The false incredulity and disdain is beyond hypocritcal. I don't understand why calling someone's stance "a fairy tale" is demeaning. Isn't dismissing the impact of Bill's presidency while giving props to Ronald Reagan more distasteful? I find the praise of Reagan particularly insensitive to those of us who didn't get a drop of the trickled-down wealth of the 80s. The compassionate echoes of Barack's 2004 DNC speech that left me speechless in awe are less and less audible.

During the South Carolina debates, I heard Barack compare his work as a community organizer to Hillary's presence on the board of Wal-Mart. (and her comeback was just as sharp - I think slumlord was bandied about.) The truth is both Barack and Bill owe the freedom to pursue their passion for public service to their wives who pursued the right to make 76 cents on the dollar working for the corporate man.

The headlines this week are so 1992 -Hillary who "will do anything to get elected." Bill is risking his flawless reputation as "global leader." The Clinton machine has "an unquenchable thirst for power and will stop at nothing to achieve victory." You'd think that they'd hired Karl Rove to run things.

This same outraged press was mute while the junta led us into a phony war; stole an election; and questioned a triple-amputee Vietnam veteran's patriotism. A press who quickly forgot the national disgrace in the ongoing aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. And all these self-righteous Democrats suddenly don the mantle of brave, ethical statesmen while forgetting their total and embarrassing submission to the Bush administration during the last eight years.

I used to complain about Edwards not getting media attention. This week I notice the disparity in coverage between the two remaining candidates. For example, how many times has the press mentioned the endorsement by Ted and Caroline Kennedy and now Ethel Kennedy? How many times have you read that Kathleen, Kerry, and Bobby, Kennedy, Jr. have endorsed Hillary?

The supposed biggest difference between Hillary and Barack is that he gave a speech against the war in 2002. Yet when he actually had the power to manifest that opinion as a U.S. Senator, we find that in 69 votes on the war in Iraq, he and Hillary have similar voting records. There is only one vote in which they differed. (Hillary voted against; Barack voted for confirming George Casey as Chief of Staff for the Army.) When Barack had the chance to -at least - symbolically stick with the his pre-election stance, by voting against the confirmation of Condoleeza Rice, he chose to go with the establishment. On his own website, the response to why he continued to vote for funding the war, was because so did the other Democrats. Now tell me again how he represents a breath of fresh air and progressive thinking?

So if there is no difference between Hillary and Barack in their overall stance on the war and other issues, how to cast my vote?

I've heard people say that jihadists will be less likely to attack the U.S. if a man with brown skin is our president. It has hasn't stopped anyone from killing the men and women of color who wear the uniform of the U.S. military.

I've heard people say Barack is inspiring young people to participate in the political process in unprecedented numbers. I have no argument with that. But surely there are some young women inspired by the first female candidate for president as well? Has anyone asked The White House Project and Emily's List for those demographics?

I remembered watching the healthcare debates in Las Vegas last spring. Even as an Edwards supporter, I was impressed by Hillary's performance. She was comfortable, confident, and comprehensive in her knowledge.

The next president is going to have a hell of a mess to clean up. This week at work a colleague told me she thought in terms of "who would I hire?" Makes perfect sense.

When you are under 25, you look for inspiration from those in authority above you because it's rare that you are doing the hiring. With age and experience, I think we demand something more substantial than just inspiration from those we hire or from those above us.

I'm not sure the person the LA Times describes as a poem and a self-proclaimed "work in progress" is who I would hire to clean up the disaster area that our government has become.

As you know from previous posts, being like JFK is not an asset in my eyes. He might have touched a generation with the poetry of his speechwriters (interestingly enough, Barack's speechwriters study the speeches of Bobby, not Jack) but his actual record is less than inspiring. And a lot of that inspired generation ended up fighting in a war he helped escalate. JFK didn't show much courage when it came to real societal change - a quick review of the civil rights movement demonstrates that.

When John Edwards said he had to step aside to let history blaze its path, I knew I too must make my contribution to this special moment in time. So I ask myself:

How can I ignore the impact of having a qualified woman -not just any woman -assume the most powerful position in the world?

How can I ignore that in 2008 women are still judged more harshly, paid less, and live in fear of their physical safety?

How can I ignore the possibility that the rampant low self-esteem of women could be replaced with a tidal wave of belief in their own potential for greatness?

How can I ignore the symbolic effect a female president could have on the dreams and aspirations of women in generations to come? Not to mention, the generations of men, too.

But in the end, the heart and the intellect must come together to choose -regardless of race, regardless of gender. So I am casting my vote for the candidate I think is smarter, tougher, more prepared, more able to facilitate lasting change through doing, and yes, more compassionate and more inspirational.

On Tuesday, in Election District 80 in Manhattan County, I am proud to say I will pull the lever for Senator Hillary Clinton.